If you’re not enjoying your DND group, you might want to leave, even mid-campaign. Leaving can be tricky, so here’s a complete guide to help.
Here’s how to leave a DND group with tact and grace:
Leave a DND group by talking privately with the Dungeon Master, giving advance warning, resolving any character or game issues, and politely explaining your reasons for leaving to the other group members. You can also leave the DND group at a natural exit point such as the end of a campaign.
In this article, I’ll cover everything you need to know about how to leave a DND group:
- 7 best ways to leave a group
- Exactly what to say when you leave a group
- How to figure out if you should leave a group
- How to leave a group that is falling apart
How To Leave a DND Group (7 Best Tips From a Lifetime RPG Player)
Leaving a DND group sometimes feels like breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s a group activity, and groups can get close.
After playing Dungeons and Dragons for decades, I’ve joined and left many groups.
Here are my seven best tips:
1) Inform Your DM First
When you’re considering leaving a DND group, the first thing you should do is talk to your Dungeon Master (DM).
As the leader of the group, they deserve to know how you feel.
Not only is it the right thing to do, but it will also help reduce any negative fallout, bad feelings, or confusion over why you left.
Your DM might understandably be upset if they find out from someone else that you’ve decided to leave.
It’s almost always best if the message comes directly from you.
Plus, they may be able to help resolve any issues you’re having with the campaign, other members of the group, or with your character.
2) Inform Your DM Privately
It’s also important to tell your DM privately before you announce your departure to the group.
You never know how your DM or the rest of the group will react.
Trust me, it’s better to manage the DM alone—especially if the conversation takes a surprising turn for the worst.
Another reason to tell your DM privately is that the two of you can plan a meaningful and fun way to announce your exit to the rest of the group.
Keep reading for three epic ideas on how to leave like a boss.
3) Give a Good Reason
You don’t need to go into crazy detail about why you want to leave.
DND is like any other activity.
If you aren’t feeling it, you don’t have to do it.
However, it’s still helpful to offer up some kind of explanation. Be honest, direct, and short with your reason.
If you’re busy, say that. If the game is not fun for you anymore, tell them.
There’s an entire section of this article with examples of exactly what to say.
Here’s a sneak peek: “Thank you so much for running this game. I wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to make it to the group anymore.”
4) Keep It Classy (Don’t Blame, Judge, or Criticize)
When you’re leaving a group, it’s important to keep things classy.
This isn’t the time to start throwing around blame, judgment, or criticisms of other members of the group—even if you think they deserve it.
The truth is, it’s not polite to badmouth people behind their back.
No need to trash on the Dungeon Master, either. Just focus on the fact that you are departing from the group.
If the DM asks you why (which they probably will), tell the truth.
Just be nice about it.
If the campaign sucks, don’t say those exact words. Instead, say that you are not feeling the game or the group.
You can even go into a bit of detail if you want. Gentle feedback helps DMs and groups get better.
Ultimately, it’s good manners to leave with positivity and tact.
The fact that you are leaving speaks volumes all by itself.
5) Leave at a Natural Exit Point
There are better and worse times to leave a DND group.
When possible, leave at a natural exit point:
- End of a campaign
- Long break in the group
- Character death
These natural exit points ease your departure because they inherently make more “sense” to the DM and the group.
Everyone is less likely to take your exit personally.
While you are not responsible for how other people feel, there is no reason not to plan your last game with the group to coincide with one of these exit points.
6) Tie Up Any Game or Character Loose Ends
Before you leave, figure out what you want to do with your character.
This is another good reason to talk to your DM in private.
The two of you can work out a plan for your character, their items, and any loose ends within the campaign.
You don’t need to figure everything out.
Just don’t be the player who drops out unexpectedly, ghosts the group, and leaves a mess for others to clean up in the game.
The more directly tied into the adventure your character is, the more sessions you might want to give the DM to adjust the story.
7) Get Closure with the DND Group
After speaking with your DM, schedule a time to get closure with the group.
Usually, I recommend giving your DM and group at least a one-session warning.
That allows you to mark the last game with a special in-game and out-of-game celebration.
Closure helps the entire process of leaving a group go more smoothly.
8) Bonus: Have a Plan B (In Case You Change Your Mind)
Leaving a DND group can be hard.
You may find that you miss your friends, the campaign, or the characters.
It’s okay to change your mind.
Just know that you don’t have to leave the group for good. You can always take a break or come back at a later date.
The key is clear communication with your Dungeon Master and group. They may not be able to accommodate you if you show up unannounced in the future.
Here is a good video with even more tips about how to leave a DND group:
3 Epic Ways To Leave a DND Group
If you really want to know how to leave a DND group, the secret is to go out with a bang.
When you go, consider leaving in one of these three epic ways:
- A big death scene
- A huge character sacrifice
- Achieving a major character goal/mission
Any of these are great ways to make a permanent and memorable exit from the group.
Your DM may even thank you for it later.
The bigger the death scene or sacrifice, the better. Imagine your character leaping off the top of a castle tower, battle-ax raised, screaming-eagle style toward a dragon.
Or casting a levitation spell to get the rest of your party out of a crumbling cave alive—while you get buried inside.
Lastly, your Cleric can start a temple. Your fighter can retire to run a tavern.
Your wizard can become a god.
Speaking from experience, it’s pretty cool if the rest of the group can “visit” your character in-game later in the campaign.
How Do I Politely Leave a DND Group? (Exactly What to Say)
One of the hardest parts of leaving a DND group is knowing what to say.
So, I thought it might be helpful to offer a few examples based on specific situations that have actually happened in my games.
Feel free to use these examples verbatim.
Or, you can use them as creative fodder to come up with your own style of “goodbye.”
How To Tell Your DM That You’re Not Having Fun
Here’s what you can say to your DM if you’re not having fun anymore:
“Hey. I don’t mean any offense by saying this, but I’m not having as much fun with the game as I used to. I think it might be time for me to leave the group.”
How To Tell Your DM That You’re Quitting the Game
Here’s what you can say to your DM if you’re quitting the game:
“I’m not really feeling this game anymore. I don’t know exactly what it is but it’s not for me. I wanted to let you know.”
How To Tell Your DM That You’re Leaving the DND Party at the Next Session
It’s good to give your DM and group advance notice.
Here’s what you can say:
“I really appreciate you and the group but getting here is getting harder because of (work/school/project/life). The next session will be my last. I wanted to let you know so we could plan an epic last session for my character.”
How To Tell Your DND Group That You’re Leaving
Once it’s time to announce your departure to the entire DND group, you might want to say a few words to give everyone closure.
One example might be:
“Hey everyone. This has been a great group and I consider all of you my friends. Unfortantely, I’m going to need to step out of the group for a while. Maybe even forever. I just wanted to let everyone know how much I enjoyed being part of the group. I’ll miss playing DND with you.”
You might also say:
“It’s been great playing with all of you but I’m moving on to other things. I might come back and visit sometime. Who knows? But for now, it’s time to say goodbye.”
That’s how you leave a DND group like a gentleman or lady.
Whatever you do, just be sure to be respectful and understanding.
Your group members are likely to be just as sad to see you go as you are to leave.
How To Leave a DND Group That Is Falling Apart
Sometimes, a DND group completely falls apart.
Players jump ship, the DM goes military ballistic, or one member won’t shut up long enough for everyone to get a turn.
So many things can derail or destroy a fun game.
If your DND group is falling apart, I suggest that you leave pronto.
As Myrto said in her YouTube video above, “No gaming is better than bad gaming.”
It’s still advisable to give your DM a head’s up but even that is not always possible.
After all, the DM might be the problem.
Here’s how to leave a DND group that is falling apart:
- Notice the signs of impending trouble as early as possible.
- Get with the DM privately in person or by text/direct message.
- Leave as soon as possible (No need to wait until the next session or the end of the campaign. You’re in a burning building. Just get out).
- Be nice and polite but leave no room for confusion.
You can say or text: “The game is not working for me anymore. I won’t be back.”
Never Do These NightMare Things When Leaving a DND Group
Most of this article focuses on what to do when leaving a DND group.
Unless the group is super toxic, there are also a few things that you should probably avoid.
Never do the following nightmare things when leaving a DND Group:
- Ghost the group without any notice or explanation
- Walk out in the middle of a game
- Yell, scream, or start drama
- Try to convince other people to leave with you
- Steal anything
- Ruin the DND game, module, or campaign
An easy way to know how to leave a DND group is to do the opposite of everything on that list.
Should I Quit My DND Group?
The decision to quit a DND group is not always easy.
In addition to how to leave a DND group, you might also want to know if you should leave.
You might feel undecided whether you should stay or go. Although no one can make the choice for you, asking yourself a few questions might help.
These questions are adapted from popular outcome-based questions in business, neuro-linguistic programming, and therapy.
Ask yourself:
- Am I enjoying the game?
- Is the problem fixable?
- Is the issue temporary or permanent?
- How likely are things to change?
- What are the worst potential consequences if I stay?
- What are the worst possible consequences if I stay in the group?
- What are the best possible outcomes if I remain?
- What are the best potential outcomes if I go?
By asking and answering these questions, you can better decide what to do.
For example, if the problem is not likely to change, you might want to leave. If the issue is with one member who is going off to college soon, then you can take a short leave or thought it out until they’re gone.
3 Big Reasons Players Leave DND Groups
There are many little reasons players ditch a DND group.
However, in my experience, most reasons fall into three major categories. It’s good to know which one you fall into before you exit a group.
1) Life Conflict
The most common reason players leave DND groups is because of life conflict.
They might have too much work, school, or family responsibilities. They may move away or have to suddenly quit playing DND.
2) Unhappy with the Game
Players might be unhappy with the game for a variety of reasons: the DM is too controlling, the game is too slow, they don’t like the other players.
Even if they love the group itself, a boring game will motivate them to flee.
3) Relationship Conflict
The most toxic and destructive reason players leave DND groups is because of relationship conflict.
These conflicts can be over anything: who gets to DM, who gets to play what character, how much money people are spending on the game, etc.
One bad “egg” in the group can destroy the game dynamics for everyone.
Final Thoughts: How To Leave a DND Group
Leaving a DND group is like leaving any other group activity.
Just let people know as politely and early as possible. Most DMs and group members will understand.
Before you leave, here are some related posts you may enjoy:
